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Straight Post

Practical Guide for Foreign Exchange students – Part 1

After a year of academic abuse at IIM owing to strenuous rigour and a lifelong sexual abuse in India, owing to strict –No No ding Dong before marriage culture, boys at my college are gearing up for a life time opportunity to unleash their libido at foreign lands. Many of them came to a steadfast, well thought conclusion that this is their final opportunity to get laid before they ask their mothers to get them married once they complete their MBA. Many of them took diligent steps: started going to gym, started learning foreign languages and some of them even went to extremes: stopped watching porn for a month to preserve their vital energies!  . Once I eavesdropped where some of the boys were practicing the most appropriate way to introduce themselves to the French girls in 3 simple sentences.

Bonjour ( Hi)

mon nom est balu( my name is balu)

Je suis fantastique dans son lit (I am fantastic in bed)!!!

Many of them think that foreign girls are crazy for some exotic brown skin and presume that all it takes is a smile from their side to get laid, which sadly is not the case. This analysis of mine is highly professional, derived from innumerable embarrassments. So pay attention.

As usual, being a MBA student let me religiously start my analysis with Porters 5 forces emphasizing heavily on “Barriers to entry” more than anything.

  1. Bargaining power of suppliers i.e. Foreign chicks ( HIGH)
  2. Bargaining power of customers i.e. virgin Indian boys (LOW)
  3. Threat of new entrants i.e. fellow frustrated Indian foreign exchange students(HIGH)
  4. Barriers to “entry”  i.e.  ahem (Very HIGH)
  5. Threat of substitutable products i.e. Sex shops, prostitutes, Amsterdam! Etc.( very HIGH)

We will do internal SWOT analysis in my next post.

Generalization is a disease and Indians especially are more prone to this disease than anyone else. One of the generalizations is that dating a foreign girl is easy. But the truth is girls are girls no matter where they are.  If you are a shy introvert Indian boy who never touched a girl, and you think that you can become Rajni Kanth of seduction overnight when you step foot in Western Europe, you are heavily mistaken.

Let me take you 2 months back to Mumbai where I did my Internship. Every day when I saw the mad vermin of human mass pushing and shoving above the Mumbai over pass bridges I felt insignificant. When I saw beautiful girls with fake sun glasses and fruit flavoured lipsticks ignored my blatant glares at their assets I felt ugly and when I dry humped every man irrespective of his age in standing position aided by the vibrating motion of Mumbai locals I felt like a liberal gay.

Every day like a newlywed bride entering the room for her fight night, I entered the local with pressed formals, polished shoes, combed hair, and deodorised body only to come like a newlywed bride coming out of the room the next day morning. With a tired face, ravaged hair and trying to set the crumbled dress pretending as if nothing happened inside even though you know that your private parts have been severely compromised.

Same will be your situation when you travel those mad rush Paris locals.

But everything is not as bleak as you might think after reading what I have to say. Being MBA Students we should analyse the situation and solve the problem using the “concepts” that we learnt. In my next post we will discuss how to apply RBV (Resource based View) to ourselves and analyse how we can enhance the VRIN resources(Valuable, rare, inimitable and non substitutable) that we possess as Indians and we will also do a SWOT analysis to strengthen our argument.  So au revoir and bonne nuit.



About Straight Post

SP is all about freewill. I was once a revolutionary who lost his ideals in technology, a philosopher who lost his integrity in debugging and a poet who lost his soul in coding. SP is just the way I see the world. No hard feelings.

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